You wouldn’t like me when I play recitals.

I guess it went okay, all things considered. I’ll admit I would’ve preferred to rehearse with Eric on Monday or Tuesday…two hours of rehearsal, one hour off, play recital…it was harsh. The back of my throat felt like it was dying, and kept refusing air…I don’t know how to describe that in technical terms? I guess it means I wasn’t supporting properly, or something.

Anyway, I screwed up–but only really at the ends of the Telemann and ‘Arethusa’–both times after playing straight for +10 minutes–when that crazy throat thing happened. Goddamn.
Man, I was exhausted after that…and then, dinner with family…I should be dead. No, really, I should be.

But! Jane got us tickets to go see the NAO play Mahler 8: “Symphony of a Thousand”. It was awesome! And I was so, so, proud of Jane! It sounded fantastic. I’ve always loved Jane’s tone. Jane, I wanna play like you! (Walk like you…talk like you…shoo be doo…)

Side note: I would be utterly alarmed at Carey Ebli had I not been to a masterclass with him/been warned by Jim pre-that-masterclass. Holy faces, Batman!

And now I’m off to get my passport photo taken! Yay?
-Ren

Here is an article that talks about something similar to my throaty-madness at the recital. I suppose cases are different–but this sounds very, very similar to what happened to me near the end of high school, at quintet gigs. I think it comes after playing continuously…I’ve never experienced it in an ensemble concert or anything, or even in a lesson. The teacher who accompanied us to the gigs often got concerned, I recall. It started out as a sort of whistling, and as I attempted to repress it, turned into more of a sustained snort…pretty gross, and uncomfortable, and eventually painful, as I would be trying to continue putting air through my instrument.

I’m thinking at the recital I was closing off the nasal passage almost completely, but in a somewhat unnatural way, trying to keep going…(I was in the middle of a piece, for chrissakes!) so it turned ridiculous.

Anyway, thanks to Joel for messaging me and being all, “Is this what it was like?” and I definitely screwed up my description, but you’re totally right, Joel. That’s it. Nice to know I’m not alone in the world.

Now: what to do? This article (scroll down to the woodwind section, under “Otolaryngologic Disorders”), it suggests that “Rest and palatal exercises have been used to treat stress velopharyngeal insufficiency, though surgical options can include endoscopic posterior pharyngeal augmentation with Teflon injection or a surgically created pharyngeal flap.” Nyarrrrgh. I think we’ll try the rest/palatal exercises. Palatal exercises? Would that entail saying “Ah, Ah. Aaaaah…Ah!” in different ways?

Anyway, I’ll keep investigating.

Today: gouged cane, but I think there’s something up with the gouger, the pieces came off quite thick…scrape a few reeds, following Katrina-law carefully, but the sides keep coming open, and I’ve got no idea what to do. Try again, I guess. Heather thinks it might be the gouge. I’m hopeful that it’s not just me.

I think that’s it. If anyone can find me some more info on this SVI dealy, or has personal experience, that would be super-fantastic!

Love y’all,
Ren

I am going back to school in a couple of weeks. I don’t know how I feel about that. Should I be excited? Apprehensive? I’m only going into my second year, but we have no seniors…just Heather and Kristen. So technically, I’m in the second tier of seniority, and it is Freaking Me Out.

Today I explored the websites of some of the webcomics I like. They are all linked on that there side panel if you would like to see them. And there is a description of each in the alt-texts. I also went to the Passport Canada office in downtown Kitchener and gave them all of my forms and my mob-gangster-I-am-going-to-kill-you-so-watch-out passport pictures. It cost me $87. I had time before my transfer ran out, so I wandered around downtown…Kitchener is sketchy. Waterloo is superclassy in comparison. I found a used bookstore that was hiding all of its good literature and kids’ books at the back of the store. I bought some. I shouldn’t have, but I think I’m addicted to buying books. I need to find a place for my other bookshelf, too, since there are books stacked in multiple piles on the floor. This is Not A Good Thing.

Anyway. Ensemble auditions are scheduled for the 6th of September, and I’ve pretty much resigned myself to something crappy. Wind Ensemble? Daaaaaamnnnniitt. Maybe I should be in choir instead? What do you think?

Here is a picture of me working at my friend Hammer’s company. My other friend Cow made it.