Who: The Scissor Sisters

Where: Sound Academy

When: August 31, 2010

I wonder what Ana Matronic eats for breakfast. I wonder if Jake Shears wears old man sweaters when he’s at home. I wonder if the keyboardist is the life of the party on the tour bus – if he’s the go-to guy for hallucinogens, awful puns, and cheap shots. I wonder if Del Marquis has a thing about Oxford Commas. I wonder these things because at this concert (packed in among so many girls and gays) there is a space between the music and the dancing, a space that would ordinarily be filled by staggering bass or the singer’s feelings slopping all over the stage. I resort to filling the space with idle, mental queries and remind myself not to wear just one earplug next time.

(It was a really good concert, though.)

Everyone knows the new year begins in September. School supplies and class schedules, room numbers and brand-new non-scuff sneakers with the curly laces you don’t have to tie. For musicians, for orchestras, September is about new beginnings, too. Kick-off concerts and hype from the press.

I made new year’s resolutions for September 1st this year. Some of them are mundane, like “make your own lunch” and “never wear the same thing twice”, but something else I want to do is write more about music. So my Resolution, this September the First, is to write a review for every concert I see. It doesn’t need to be professional, it doesn’t need to talk about the artistry or the talent or the tuning of the scales; I want it to be Sean-from-Said-the-Gramophone-style, flashing experiential evidence. I want to practice the combination of otherwise-unrelated words for the cause of re-evoking the moment.

I saw this on the bus on my way to work yesterday and took a picture. Two things: 1) Notice that the appallingly muscular men are flexing on the beach and a skinny, be-suited be-shorted violinist is performing kneeling in the middle. Why is this the case rather than the muscly guys playing? Why bring in bonus skinny nerds? and 2) WHY IS THE KWS NOT ADVERTISING RIGHT NEXT TO THIS?

It would be so funny.

It’s so amazing.

I look through the concert series around me, and the major ones are full of music I am only interested in tangentially (Poulenc, Schubert, Beethoven, Debussy) or not at all (Mozart, Sibelius, Tchaikovsky). I am fortunate in that I live in a city which has a reasonably lively new music scene with Intersections and NUMUS and Open Ears (although I am shockingly only interested in a few NUMUS concerts this year), and in that I live so close to Toronto with its treasure chest of contemporary classical jewels so I do not go unindulged in my niche tastes. But I live vicariously through the blogs and the hype and the excitement of the New York City contemporary classical scene – it is so brilliant.

I went to the Bang on a Can Marathon this past weekend and listened for all 13 glorious hours! It was fantastic to be around all the composers and musicians who I’ve read about and listened to, as well as the bloggers who provide the reading material. It was even more fantastic to get a chance to hear the music live – Evan Ziporyn is my new hero (”Tire Fire” performed by Gamelan Galak Tika blew my mind, as did Mr. Ziporyn’s clarinetting in the Bang on a Can All-Stars’ several performances), Tim Brady did Canada-dee-doo-dee-da proud with his brand of GuitArt, Florent Ghys took double bass to new heights, Buke and Gass were fantastic (and their CDs sold out before I started my volunteer shift behind the table), German composer Moritz Eggert was engaging and entertaining and played the piano with his ass, and I love love new music recorder quartets. When the QNG played Paul Moravec’s Mortal Flesh I knew it was Meant To Be.

I slept at my awesome friend Agatha Kasprzyk’s house – she is a Masters student at NYU – and saw this program. Inside: Aggie’s piece, performed in Merkin Hall as part of a Takemitsu tribute concert.

On the back: featured upcoming concerts including THREE (3) artists whose blogs I read.

She also told me about a concert that she and her film-scoring-friends (soon-to-be composition collective) who call themselves “Vision Fugitive” just put on at (Le) Poisson Rouge. I went “!” because of course, everyone and their mother blog about (Le) Poisson Rouge, and I would just about kill puppies to get in on that. I wish I could’ve gone to see it!

Anyway, all this to say: NYC, I am way jealous of your scene!

Also, your baristas know how to spell!

Hey everyone! I’m going to be at the Bang on a Can Marathon on Sunday – you should come say “Hi!” to me.  I will be the one in the “I Can’t Get Enough Minimalism” t-shirt. There will be blogs (and maybe also comics?) to follow.

Does anyone ever think about how weird is the relationship between an oboist and their reed? We spend hours and invest care and craft and often emotional turmoil into creating it, and then there is this oddly intimate relationship during the playing-stage (the connection between brain and face and reed is more or less unique, and you are making theoretically beautiful sounds with what is basically a vegetable), and then after a few days (or weeks if you’re lucky) it dies. And we do all kinds of crazy things to keep them alive – Jim advocates the boiling-water-baptism, Dick the vice-grip-CPR, but it’s all going to be futile after such a short while! And the words we use to talk about them – heart, back, spine – no wonder oboists are so intense.**

Anyway, the inevitability in my life as a pop musician (hopefully not as the other kind, though) is that I will be an Owen Pallett ripoff. So I thought: better get down to it! Here is a (hopefully entertaining) self-referential song from the perspective of an oboe reed for which the music is oboe loops. Um…it’s a demo. I’m not a singer. Excuses excuses excuses.

Man Is but a Reed

**Intense like CAMPING

Ansae: (′an·sē) (astronomy) The ends of the rings of Saturn, as seen from the earth. Opposing extension or knots of a celestial object, such as a planetary nebula or lenticular galaxy.

The Ansae Ensemble is pleased to announce a
CALL FOR SCORES

The new Canadian chamber group Ansae is programming a concert of compositions for their particular ensemble in the fall of 2010. These works must be scored for the quintet’s unusual combination of flute (doubling piccolo), oboe, saxophone (sop/alto/tenor/bari), piano, and alt. keyboard (electronic keyboard, melodica, toy piano, or combination of the above). Structured improvisation and extended techniques are permitted and encouraged.

The quintet, made up of senior students and alumni of Wilfrid Laurier University’s Composition and Improvisation programs, are all experienced performers of new music and avid improvisers. They have worked collectively with Charity Chan, Linda Catlin Smith, Glenn Buhr, Kathryn Ladano and others; this will be their third year performing together. Their first performance as an exclusive ensemble was in April 2010, performing pianist Andrew Mellanby’s “Resonances” on a recital of his compositions and improvisations.

Every work will be read and recorded and sent to the composers. As many new works as possible will be performed live in-concert in Kitchener-Waterloo.

Eligibility:
Applicants must be aged 30 or under on the date of submission.
The work should be no longer than 20 minutes in duration.

How to Apply:
Interested applicants should submit their entries digitally (pdf) to ewheaton@kwsymphony.on.ca, or mail them to
264 Ottawa St S
Kitchener, ON
N2G 3T7

Please Include:
1) a legible score of the work
2) transposed parts
3) a separate document giving your name, a brief biography, contact information, and any program notes
4) a self-addressed, stamped envelope should you wish your scores to be returned

Application Deadline: September 30th, 2010

I went. Here is a sort-of review, with a selection of interesting parentheses and footnotes.

Steve Reich’s Four Organs

Performed by the Five Current and Former Artistic Directors (of NUMUS). Jesse Stewart has a shiny head. Glenn is either emoting or giving downbeats with his entire body, I can’t decide which. Jeremy Bell twitches his head with the shakers. Peter nods quarters. Anne-Marie Donovan doesn’t move anything but her hands. Jesse is concentrating, man. The three guys bobbing are phase-shifted, haha! Hilarious.

Glenn Buhr’s deeper still

Does this mean we aren’t hearing Jackhammer? Nice! The beginning sounds like whimsical tickling, kind of a Chopin LP on 45 rpm . Very consonant, very tonal, and inevitably eventually banging on the piano. Why is it that Glenn’s solo piano playing is an excuse for him to bang? Don’t take yourself so serious!

Jesse Stewart’s Intersections

Jesse Stewart does not really play vibes or electric guitar, he does play set, here is “a new piece that involves all three.” Guitar in a percussive way and percussion melodically. It sounds post-rock and I like it!

Jacques Brel: Au Suivant and Ne Me Quitte Pas

Anne-Marie Donovan sounds great and expresses lots and Jacques Brel always makes me think of Lumiére in “Beauty and the Beast” and also this:

Introduction of Jacques Brel’s “Le Moribond” by Beirut

She told stories about NUMUS festivals featuring Charles Dodge and George Crumb! ONE WONDERS if the George Crumb Festival was the time when this occurred:

Via Miss Mussel

Celtic Staple-Gun Celebrity Obstacle Course

I enjoyed how most of this night was a reminisce about previous seasons, but Jeremy Bell took his adventures into “edgier” and “clubbier” to a whole new level with his kilted Celtic Staple-Gun Ensemble (”Maybe you thought I was joking. I was not”). Each feat on the obstacle course ostensibly related to one of the performances during his tenure as artistic director: the grant-writing, the river-dancing, the popcorn-eating, the minotaur-harassing, the glare from Jeremy’s silver suit, the staple gun (which, after some to-do and crowding around the table) made some exciting spacey sounds. Stefan Rose – or the last “celebrity” contestant, whoever it was – definitely put on the best show in the obstacle course, killing the minotaur (who was wearing some truly exciting pants) with the staple gun.

I don’t know how “art” the whole extravaganza was, but it was certainly entertaining.*

The 10/11 Season

Jascha Narveson is the posterboy – we approve of this; it will give us another chance to grill him about Princeton in person. Starlight Festival featuring Drumheller, Bocce, Kevin Breit and the Sisters Euclid, Luxury Pond, and Snowblink: hosted by Laurie Brown. “Battle of the Bands” is the PSQ vs. Glenn Buhr (who calls things “Battle of the Bands” anymore? SO high school. How about 4 against 3 or “pass the goddamned ketchup” which is how I learned to count that particular pattern?). “Murderous Little World” is “a riveting work of poetry, theatre, video art and lighting” (there is an abundant lack of Oxford Commas in this brochure), featuring Guy Few’s accordion/trumpet/trombone trio with Linda Bouchard on live electronics, organized around seven poems by Anne Carson. AND THEN PLOrk! Yessssssssss. (That is all I have to say about PLOrk.)

They are splitting the NUMUS season into three parts this year – the Starlight Festival with the excellent collection of bands listed above, the Ensemble Series (also listed above), and the Recital Series, which is all pianists: Heather Taves and John Kameel (which will be piano and electronics), David Braid and Glenn Buhr (which will probably be a jazz-y sort of concert, and might involve the dreaded “Jackhammer” although we hope not), “Emerging Artists” (which does, as discussed elsewhere, make them sound like moths) Nancy Tam, Jason White, and Philip Enchin (Phil is a secret hero, shh, don’t tell), and then Stephen Drury, who, according to his blurb, has commissioned new works from John Cage, John Zorn, John Luther Adams, and apparently others of the non-John variety. He sounds like the sort of fellow I should like to have a beer with and hear stories from!** Also he’s playing Rzewski’s “The People United Will Never Be Defeated!” for which*** I am most excited. Apparently he is going to memorize it.

The New Art Quartet was the second half of the program, with Sanja Brankovic subbing in on percussion. Woo Sanja!

Peter Hatch’s Blunt Music

So this is interesting! It is very different from the other things I’ve heard of Peter’s – sections of minimal repeating material which alter very suddenly. I enjoyed watching the quartet play this because they were so dispassionate! Glenn is a showman on the piano with lots of dipping and banging and emoting, and Terry Kroetsch was so aloof even though hitting the keys was notated, and Beth Ann was so graceful and serious about the whole thing.

George Crumb’s Music for a Summer Evening (Makrokosmos III)

Man, this has been The Year for me to learn to love George Crumb. I love his use of instruments – slide whistles and jingle bells, all absolutely seriously. Crotales and cymbals played on a tympanum sound incredible. The combinations (I’m always making note of combinations it seems) of vibraphone + whistling, prepared piano + vibraphone, piano + crotales  were stunning. The melodic bits of the second (?) movement are intimate and unnerving, as though someone just dragged their finger very lightly across your skin.

It’s not just the music, though. The detachment of the players (I described Terry’s and Beth Ann’s above, but Sanja Brankovic and Carol Bauman^ played that way too) like it wasn’t even them making it. And it worked, let the music do the talking, like the sound always existed and was just being discovered. Brilliant. George Crumb, if you ever Google yourself and come across this blog, I think you’re Brilliant, capital B. And I love, love, love that Westminster Chime quote in the last movement.

*Which, I suspect, was the principal purpose.

**Oh, bad sentence structure on my part. Prepositions are the future.

***That was better!

^”Carol Bauman has a lot of bows – remember that about her.” – Michael Purves-Smith

Everyone and their mother it seems are talking about how to sell classical music concerts. Whether it’s worth it to sell concerts. If they care, they will come, if not, they don’t, too bad. People are more likely to come to a concert which has been advertised with smiling soloist headshots rather than with ones which make them look dangerous and sexy. Don’t mix and match your fonts or everyone will hate you. Don’t make a social networking site separate from other social networking sites, that’s retarded. Make a social networking site, it will connect with young and hip people and they will buy expensive tickets.

Students don’t need deals, students need to network: introduce them to your board! Students don’t have any money, so provide a reasonably cheap pass their parents can buy them for the year – or one that they can buy when OSAP comes in.

Get a consultant. Consultants are morons, especially if they make up words. Work harder. Don’t try so hard. No one actually cares about the music, they go for the status. Music makes people happy. Sex sells, even classical music. Only really quality music will bring people out – nothing else matters. Arts Administration matters. Make sure there’s a verb in your slogan. Digital is the future. Blogs are the future.

People associate computers with work - stay off the computer. Showmanship is important! Buzzwords! Let the music speak for itself. The audience is old people, don’t offend them. Old people don’t use the internet. They like orgasms too. And pictures of fire. Pose your conductor in places around town one week he’s in so it looks like he’s Local and Connected – people know who he is, but they won’t care about the musicians (who actually live in town). Increase the mystique and hype around that conductor, actually. 

Don’t tell people about the music, they don’t care. People don’t know what they like, they know what they know – give them new things to like! Use lots of exclamation points. Tell people it’s family friendly, a night out for you and your spouse, romantic, edgy, spectacular, educational, elite, alternative, casual, accessible. Play exciting music. Play music everyone knows. Wear your sneakers to the concert. Get all gussied up. Look, we made a package for you including concert, dinner, parking, and manservant. Maybe people like to do it themselves. Take care of their kids, and they’ll come.

You’ll disorient people if you rejig concert setup.  No you won’t. Don’t talk down to people. Spell things out for the uneducated masses. Don’t discount. Discount.  Photoshop things. Don’t photoshop things. Lie. Be honest.*

Marketing: it’s not in my long-term future.

It’s also: Terrifying. Just saying.

Here’s what I think: I think the people who will come to concerts need to be reminded why a particular concert is kind of cool. I think people who don’t come to concerts need to be told why a concert is kind of cool! Like, “Hey, check out this piece, it is probably the hardest thing for violins to play because they have to stand on their heads” or “Dudes, TRIANGLE” or “Carmina Burana, you know, it’s that Big Ad piece, it’s like…giant and epic and monks gettin’ all disillusioned and one with their Base Natures (if you know what I mean)” or “What do you mean opera is boring? Check out friggin’ Don Giovanni!”. I figure I ask myself, “Why do I want to go to Concert X?” and then, when I figure out the answer, tell everyone else and hope they think like me.
Reason #1 why I am not especially Good At This. People don’t think like me. I basically live for new music and would never ever pay to go see Tchaikovsky or Mozart and New Music Doesn’t Sell and Tchaikovsky And Mozart Do.

But I suspect there is some truth in this: the way to get people excited about something is to get excited about it yourself and then rock it Kindergarten-style and share.

Consider how you find out about the movies you want to see be they old or new: perhaps you see a trailer that piques your interest, or maybe it wins an award or features an actor you like and you’re curious, or perhaps you’re a loser like me and watch movies that are referenced in culture for educational/self-bettering reasons, but I bet the vast majority of the films I watch are a result of someone going, “this movie was amazing/hilarious/really bad, you should go see it!” N’est-ce pas?

Anyhoooooo it’s all nebulous and stuff. Anyone have the answers? Right.

*I could have found links for all the rest of these too, but some of them are straight from the horse’s mouth and some are pretty common ideas. And also I’m a bit lazy.

*****

I haven’t blogged in such a long time! I don’t feel too badly, though, seeing as I have been updating comics twice a week. Lately I’ve been working (I signed my contract for a full-time position next year! I’m a real person!) and moving (out and on my own at last – plus cat (he is pretty needy, but likes to play fetch, which is weird for a cat?)) and writing exams (now done! I have a degree!) so things have been what we like to refer to as Crazy Busy. But now it is the summer, my first summer (ever, it feels like) in which I am working 9-5, I have weekends free, and I will have a full week of vacation time (at least), so I am taking advantage of the time to go festival-ing this summer. Hillside, Electric Eclectics, Tanglewood Festival of Contemporary Music, the Bang on a Can Marathon, Ottawa Bluesfest, Luminato, maybe even Lollapalooza – it will be a good (great!) summer.

I’m working on making my grad school portfolio and polishing it to a high shine this summer too. Anyone have any tips? What are grad schools looking for in a composer? If I have really good reference letters and a sparkly portfolio, will my 3.something GPA matter?

*****

I’ve had the good fortune of getting to hang out with Miss Mussel every now and again lately. I took part in #operaplot this year! And not completely lamely like last year, but with a touch of, you know, cleverness (I even jumped on the #operacronym bandwagon for a few!). Here are my entries from this year.

1. K: Look I’m a tree! P: Oh that’s hot. But weird. Marry me? S: Too bad you’re a freak now P: I’ll die without you weird tree thing.

2. He’s a heretic, but naïve and useful. Death wins his soul and turns him into a Brutal Anglican, to the dismay of the White Abbott

3. No Dick or Harry would leave his Trulove for money, for a bearded Baba, for heroism – but Tom will go to Bedlam in the morning.

4. Vassili, I love you, but we can only be together if you can pretend to be a woman and avoid close shaves!

5. Sing Another Time, Yes, About Gandhi’s Resistance: A Holy Apostasy #operacronym

6. Mac cleans Trinasteeth, experiences avarice – gold usurps ethics. #operacronym

7. Tosca’s lova hides-a prisona. She’s-a betraya, he’s-a-rrested. Tosca plans-a bold escape, but in the end a fall she takes-a

8. Rustics simplistic, lovers romantic. Fairies ethereal, “Come! A Roundel!” Tytania is quelled, all shall be well.

9. Dreadfully Evil Visions Indicate Lustful Sins. Oh Fiends! Lady Occultists! Unanswered Desire! Offended Nuns! #operacronym

*****

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